fuck a duck

28 11 2007

dog on duck

here’s the deal. with this baby on the way, i got a shit ton of things to do. so don’t expect me to be updating much for the rest of the year. but keep checking BITA. everyday. at least twice a day.

have i mentioned lately how much i love japanese people? 1 2 3 4 5 6 … i fucking love those crazy bastards. children’s television is really going apeshit. if i had seen that when i was a little kid, i probably would’ve shat my pants. but at least i’d know how to count to six.

iphone owner gets pwned!!1!!1!11!!!oen!!!11!

Sienna Miller will play Baroness in the upcoming GI Joe movie. now i’m about a billion times more likely to see the fucking GI Joe movie. (although, i’m told that any number multiplied by zero is still zero.)

i just recently discovered the magic of podcasts. people are always telling me i’m “on the cutting edge” and i see no reason to disagree. if you like movies, and you have a long drive to work, and you are scared of signing up for an itunes account, and you are in to bestiality, and you like movies, check out Creative Screenwriting Magazine’s blog. you can download all of their podcasts from the past year as MP3s, so all of you ipodophobes can play them on your giant, gas powered mp3 players.

christmas came early for lonely guys who masturbate a lot. (did you catch the pun?) Jessica Alba’s top 5 sexiest moments.

i went to see No Country for Old Men this past weekend. it was really fucking good. really good, but still able to piss off most people who see it. i’ll save you any potential let down; do not expect a big climactic ending. that’s as much as i’ll give away. the sound and cinematography were fucking sick. the sound was especially good. like, almost as good as The Conversation. also, i’ve never seen an “action” movie with so much depth to the story. i’ve only had the chance to see it once, but i want to watch it about five more times just to let everything digest. also, Javier Bardem is the ultimate bad ass.

fat kid avoids ridicule. the onion always finds those feel good stories that remind you of the irrepressible human spirit. or something.

i JUST found out that Zooey Deschanel is signed on to play Janis Joplin in the new biopic Gospel According to Janis. although i generally think Zooey Deschanel playing anyone in anything is the greatest idea ever, i have a problem with Janis Joplin being played by one of the most attractive women EVER. (i may have a bit of a crush.) the problem is, one of the things that played into Janis’s insecurity and self destruction was her feeling that she was butt fucking ugly. (her words, not mine.) i realize that hollywood has a fucking terrible time trying to cast unattractive women, but this is way the fuck out there. BONUS: there will be a NUDE SCENE. i already have a boner.





asdf

17 11 2007

dumbass

i’m not that into sports. i tend to be more interested in the uniforms.

i do not like shia labeouf. i am not happy that he is playing Indiana Jones‘ son in Crystal Skull. i guess i’m not alone.

djew ever see sylvester stallone‘s porno, Italian Stallion? (serious.) it’s showing RIGHT NOW, at the Music Box in chicago. if you live there, you should not pass up the opportunity to see sly stallone’s itallian sausage. (weak.) or the anal sex scene that i’ve heard so much about. (lie.)

it’s Martin Scorsese‘ birthday. it’s also RuPaul‘s birthday. woo hoo. what else is there to say?





lapse

29 09 2007

truck in house

i hate the internet. i hate blogging. i hate people. i hate doing stuff. i hate everything. that’s why i haven’t made an entry in a while.

if you’re like me, you don’t have anything on your computer worth backing up. some shitty papers you wrote in college, some pictures of people you don’t talk to anymore, a two year old resume, and a few [hundred] porn videos. however, if you’re Francis Ford Coppola, you most definitely have some shit worth saving. unfortunately, no one told Coppola that backing up to an external hard drive, which sits next to your computer, does not help when you get robbed. i’m sure that script for Tetro wasn’t that good anyway.

tracking shots are sweet, so PVC-1 has to be good. right?

crazy people should not be allowed to be rich. there’s fucking starving kids in africa, or something, and that douche bag is spending $10 million on an alien proof bunker. i fucking hate that guy.





we believe technique to be nothing more than failed style

5 09 2007

cerdo feliz

i heard they just released some new ipods. the best news of the day was the $200 price drop for the iphone. not because the iphone is now more affordable, but because all those hipster fucks just got boned out of $200 because they had to have their stupid fucking jesus phone before everyone else. boo yah, hipster fucks. boo yah.

i know you already read about the bill murray golf cart incident in stockholm, because you’re not living under a fucking rock, but even if you have heard about it, it is worth bring up again. bill murray is a god among men. puny, puny men.

it’s a big weekend for the movies (for me). if you live near me, you can follow me around to all the sweet ass movies that are coming out. i’m already sick of myself and the things i have to say, so i’ll keep this brief. ride the bump, hoe.

Read the rest of this entry »