i sincerely want to fuck the taste out of your mouth

30 03 2010

back again.  with some real shit for once.  set boners to stun.  here we go.

the other day, the movie australia was on tv.  you know, the movie with wolverine and tom cruise’s old beard, both doing really bad australian accents.   the movie opens with the following line:  “the territory was a land of crocodiles, cattle barons, and warrior chiefs, where adventure and romance was a way of life.”  OMG!!!!!!!  how did the studio let that go???  i mean, this fucking movie cost at least $100 million to make, and they didn’t even bother to check the grammar.  ???  i’m all for keeping the studio out of the creative process, but at some point, you have to rein in the nut you hired to drive your zeppelin.  [in case you missed that, australia = hindenberg.]

ytf is everyone so excited about Scott Pilgrim vs. The World?  the film blog nerd universe has the biggest hard-on (-?) for this movie, but i can’t figure out why.  i mean, i love Edgar Wright as much as the next androgynous blogger, but neither Simon Pegg nor Nick Frost are even in this movie.  i have been anxiously awaiting Michael Cera playing a character other than George Michael, and maybe SPvTW will be what i’ve been waiting for.  or maybe it’s just another overstylized POS comicbook movie.  time will tell.  in the meantime, watch the motherfucking trailer!!!

hot tub time machine.  seriously.  that title is like a punch in the genitals.  it’s like some guy went to see wild hogs and thought, “i can make something dumber than that.”  but rather than doing it with tim allen, this guy wanted to go for a higher degree of difficulty.  so he went out and got people that are actually funny and tried to force them all to suck ass.  but what’s really fucked up is that httm keeps getting good reviews.  even aint it cool news [worst/most respected on the internet/still fucking terrible film blog] was quoted [in the commercial] as saying “run, don’t walk to see hot tub time machine.”  when i heard that, i totally forgot about whether or not httm was any good, and was focused only on the fact that people still say “run, don’t walk to see…”  fuck.  how?  FUCK!!  i am so pissed off about this.  seriously, please, somebody go pull the fucking plug on that fucking motherfuck shit ass movie blog fuck stain.  cunt.  ridiculous.

Klaus Kinski makes christian bale look like a fucking pussy.  (i busted out bold font.  that’s how serious i am.)  that dude was fucking great.  and by “great”, i mean “fucking bat shit crazy.”

today’s post brought to you by the word “fuck.”  filling in the gaps in your lexicon for over 100 years.  fuck.  you can’t fucking live without it.




3 responses

30 09 2010

Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman are both from Australia, genius. So they both couldn’t be doing bad accents if they’re both from there, could they? Who made you the “accent king” anyway?

2 04 2013
Jasper S Preston Esq


2 04 2013

not much. just chillin out max. and relaxing all cool. shootin some b-ball, outside of the school.

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