irony_is_gay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com this time, i'm really serious Fri, 23 Jan 2009 04:12:33 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ en hourly 1 http://www.gravatar.com/blavatar/4f17987c1ed49474f11c04792700620b?s=96&d=http://s.wordpress.com/i/buttonw-com.png irony_is_gay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com i wish i could quit you. fag. http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/i-wish-i-could-quit-you-fag/ http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/i-wish-i-could-quit-you-fag/#comments Fri, 23 Jan 2009 04:12:33 +0000 ironyisgay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/?p=232 ]]>
seriously

i think i accidentally made a blog post.  this is from a comment on www.fivethreedialtone.com www.eatthiscity.com.   i couldn’t just let it be.

you ever notice how some people use the comment section of other people’s blogs as if they were their own blog? super lame bryanmetro and jared. it’s called wordpress. google it.

also, the oscars are only good for two things… getting drunk and swearing at your television.

also, dark knight absolutely did not deserve the best picture nomination. but for that matter, neither did crash, return of the king, chicago, a beautiful mind, gladiator, shakespeare in love, titanic, the english patient, or braveheart.

also, am i the only one who didn’t fucking love that button movie? i mean, it was good, but 13 nominations? seriously? i would have liked it better if they had released it under it’s original title, “forrest gump 2.” [boo yah!]

and why wasn’t rambo nominated for anything? isn’t there a category for best film depiction of the murder of a child? because rambo would’ve gotten double nominated for that shit. how many movies show a baby being ripped out of his mother’s arms and thrown in a fire, just for the hell of it? fuck dark knight. fucking rambo should have gotten a best picture nom.

]]> http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/i-wish-i-could-quit-you-fag/feed/ 1 ironyisgay 29stop111 this party is just getting started http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/08/07/this-party-is-just-getting-started/ http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/08/07/this-party-is-just-getting-started/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2008 01:50:50 +0000 ironyisgay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/?p=225 ]]>

the average walking speed for a human person is 2.8 to 3.4 miles per hour.

the terminator movies were prophetic prophecies from prophets.

pizza is delicious.

generally, human people blink every 2-10 seconds.

rainbows are dangerous.

]]> http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/08/07/this-party-is-just-getting-started/feed/ 0 ironyisgay netfuck u http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/netfuck-u/ http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/netfuck-u/#comments Sat, 24 May 2008 16:16:09 +0000 ironyisgay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/?p=222 ]]>

flying...ur doing it wrong

netflix just told me that they will no longer mail dvds to me because i had a few stolen off my porch. this is not cool. if you don’t have netflix, you cannot comprehend the amount of time and energy that it requires. i have spent hundreds, if not billions of hours building my queue and rating movies that i have seen. and now netflix has told me that the only way that i can prevent all of this time and hard work from going to waste is to take my penis, cut it off, swallow it, wait about 8 hours, shit it out, and then swallow it again.

i hate netflix.

^ Teeth

3.2 Stars
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5.0 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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2.6 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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2.9 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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5.0 Stars
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3.8 Stars
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4.7 Stars
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4.8 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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3.8 Stars
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3.6 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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3.6 Stars
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3.6 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.7 Stars
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3.1 Stars
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5.0 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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2.4 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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3.3 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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2.1 Stars
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4.7 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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3.8 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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3.5 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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1.9 Stars
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3.5 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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3.8 Stars
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3.3 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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3.5 Stars
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2.3 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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3.7 Stars
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3.5 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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3.1 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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5.0 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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3.3 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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4.8 Stars
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2.9 Stars
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1.5 Stars
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2.5 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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3.5 Stars
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3.3 Stars
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2.6 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.8 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.9 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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3.8 Stars
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3.6 Stars
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4.7 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.5 Stars
 Documentary Now
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4.2 Stars
 Documentary Now
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3.7 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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3.0 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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3.0 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.5 Stars
 Comedy Now
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4.5 Stars
 Comedy Now
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4.5 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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3.2 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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2.6 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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3.7 Stars
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3.8 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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3.6 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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3.2 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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3.7 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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3.7 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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2.6 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.8 Stars
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4.7 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.8 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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3.8 Stars
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3.7 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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3.6 Stars
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3.6 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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3.6 Stars
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2.4 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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3.8 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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3.6 Stars
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2.3 Stars
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3.5 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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3.0 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.6 Stars
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3.7 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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3.8 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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1.9 Stars
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2.5 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.8 Stars
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4.8 Stars
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4.8 Stars
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3.0 Stars
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3.7 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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3.9 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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3.2 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.1 Stars
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3.3 Stars
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3.1 Stars
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2.5 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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2.3 Stars
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3.4 Stars
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4.0 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.5 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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4.3 Stars
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4.4 Stars
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4.2 Stars
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3.7 Stars
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3.7 Stars
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 Foreign Now
^ The Player
4.4 Stars
 Comedy Now
^ After Hours
4.1 Stars
 Comedy Now
^ Ali
3.5 Stars
 Drama Now
^ The Hurricane
4.1 Stars
 Drama Now
^ Grindhouse: Death Proof: Bonus Material
4.6 Stars
 Action & Adventure Now
^ Grindhouse: Planet Terror: Bonus Material
4.6 Stars
 Horror Now
^ Marvin’s Room
3.6 Stars
 Drama Now
^ The Triplets of Belleville
4.4 Stars
 Foreign Now
^ The Pursuit of Happyness
3.3 Stars
 Drama Now
^ The Cell
3.1 Stars
 Thrillers Now
^ Event Horizon
3.2 Stars
 Horror Now
^ The Insider
4.1 Stars
 Drama Now
^ Big Wednesday Watch Instantly
4.1 Stars
 Drama Now
^ The Color of Money
3.9 Stars
 Drama Now
^ Lie with Me
3.9 Stars
 Drama Now
^ City by the Sea Watch Instantly
3.3 Stars
 Drama Now
^ Titus
4.3 Stars
 Drama Now
^ A Fish Called Wanda
4.2 Stars
 Comedy Now
^ Singin’ in the Rain Watch Instantly
4.0 Stars
 Classics Now
^ Airplane!
4.4 Stars
 Comedy Now
^ Funny Games
4.2 Stars
 Foreign Now
^ Labyrinth
4.2 Stars
 Children & Family Now
^ Serenity
4.0 Stars
 Sci-Fi & Fantasy Now
^ Firefly: Disc 1
4.4 Stars
 Television Now
^ Firefly: Disc 2 Television Now
^ Firefly: Disc 3 Television Now
^ Firefly: Disc 4 Television Now
^ Triumph of the Spirit
3.5 Stars
 Drama Now
^ Wag the Dog
3.4 Stars
 Comedy Now
^ Brazil: The “Love Conquers All” Version
4.1 Stars
 Sci-Fi & Fantasy Now
^ 1900
3.9 Stars
 Drama Now
^ Glengarry Glen Ross
4.4 Stars
 Drama Short Wait
^ Out of Africa
4.0 Stars
 Romance Now
^ Das Boot Watch Instantly
4.5 Stars
 Foreign Now
^ 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days
5.0 Stars
 Foreign Releases on DVD Jun 10, 2008
^ Funny Games
5.0 Stars
 Thrillers Releases on DVD Jun 10, 2008
^ The Signal
4.1 Stars
 Horror Releases on DVD Jun 10, 2008
^ The Return
4.2 Stars
 Foreign Now
^ Caligula
3.4 Stars
 Foreign Now
^ Margot at the Wedding
3.5 Stars
 Independent Now
^ The NeverEnding Story Watch Instantly
4.1 Stars
 Children & Family Now
^ Monster’s Ball
4.0 Stars
 Drama Now
^ Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
4.1 Stars
 Drama Now
^ The Limey
4.1 Stars
 Drama Now

Saved DVDs (17)

Movie Title Instant Star Rating Genre Availability Remove
Persepolis
4.3 Stars
 Anime & Animation Jun 2008
City of Men
4.0 Stars
 Foreign Jul 2008
Blood Simple
4.4 Stars
 Thrillers Unknown
Brando: The Documentary
5.0 Stars
 Documentary Unknown
Chaplin: The Movie
4.1 Stars
 Drama Unknown
Flakes
3.2 Stars
 Comedy Unknown
Indiana Jones/Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
5.0 Stars
 Action & Adventure Unknown
Last Year at Marienbad
4.7 Stars
 Foreign Unknown
Midnight Cowboy
4.5 Stars
 Classics Unknown
Midnight Express
4.1 Stars
 Drama Unknown
Paranoid Park
3.9 Stars
 Independent Unknown
Son of Rambow
3.8 Stars
 Independent Unknown
Taxi to the Dark Side
4.4 Stars
 Documentary Unknown
The Band’s Visit
4.0 Stars
 Foreign Unknown
The Killing of a Chinese Bookie
4.5 Stars
 Drama Unknown
The Life of Reilly
4.2 Stars
 Documentary Unknown
Trust Watch Instantly
4.0 Stars
 Independent Unknown
]]> http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/netfuck-u/feed/ 0 ironyisgay flying...ur doing it wrong ^ 3.2 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 5.0 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 2.5 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 2.8 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.2 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 3.1 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 2.6 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 2.9 Stars ^ 2.9 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.1 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 2.5 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.2 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 4.7 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 4.7 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 2.2 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.0 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.7 Stars ^ 3.1 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 2.4 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.1 Stars ^ 3.3 Stars ^ 2.9 Stars ^ 2.9 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.2 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.7 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 2.1 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.8 Stars ^ 4.7 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.5 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.8 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.4 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.5 Stars ^ 1.9 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 3.3 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.2 Stars ^ 3.1 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.3 Stars ^ 2.8 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 2.7 Stars ^ 2.8 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ 2.3 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.3 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 3.1 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 3.3 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 2.7 Stars ^ ^ 2.9 Stars ^ 1.5 Stars ^ 2.5 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.3 Stars ^ 2.6 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.6 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.9 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 4.7 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.5 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.5 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.1 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.4 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.3 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.3 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.6 Stars ^ Watch Instantly ^ Watch Instantly 4.5 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 3.0 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 3.0 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.5 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.4 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 3.2 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 2.6 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.7 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.8 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 3.2 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 2.6 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 4.7 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.4 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.8 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.4 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.2 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.6 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.2 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 2.4 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.1 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 2.3 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.2 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 3.0 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.8 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 1.9 Stars ^ 2.5 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.0 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.9 Stars ^ 3.2 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.4 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.0 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 3.3 Stars ^ 3.1 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 2.5 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.4 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 2.3 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.3 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.2 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 3.7 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 2.5 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.2 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 2.4 Stars ^ 3.2 Stars ^ 3.3 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 2.6 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.5 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 3.3 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.0 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.0 Stars ^ 3.2 Stars ^ 1.7 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.1 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.4 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 4.8 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 3.8 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 4.6 Stars ^ 3.6 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 3.3 Stars ^ 3.1 Stars ^ 3.2 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.1 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 3.3 Stars ^ 4.3 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.0 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ ^ ^ ^ 3.5 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 3.9 Stars ^ 4.4 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.5 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 5.0 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.2 Stars ^ 3.4 Stars ^ 3.5 Stars ^ Watch Instantly 4.1 Stars ^ 4.0 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars ^ 4.1 Stars 4.3 Stars 4.0 Stars 4.4 Stars 5.0 Stars 4.1 Stars 3.2 Stars 5.0 Stars 4.7 Stars 4.5 Stars 4.1 Stars 3.9 Stars 3.8 Stars 4.4 Stars 4.0 Stars 4.5 Stars 4.2 Stars Watch Instantly 4.0 Stars fuckers never quit. quiters never get to fuck. http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/fuckers-never-quit-quiters-never-get-fuck/ http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/fuckers-never-quit-quiters-never-get-fuck/#comments Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:33:02 +0000 ironyisgay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/?p=221 ]]>

tree fucker

don’t worry. i haven’t given up yet. i’ve just been busy drinking alcohol and playing with my wiener. the other night i did nothing but get drunk and beat the midget all night long. but now i’ve turned over a new leaf (which has nothing to do with the giant blister on willy wonka). i’m back to the shit and ready to rock. while you’re waiting for the real “rocking” to begin, check THIS out. it is the greatest thing i have seen all day. seriously. all. fucking. day.

]]> http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/fuckers-never-quit-quiters-never-get-fuck/feed/ 2 ironyisgay tree fucker i’m halle berry http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/02/25/im-halle-berry/ http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/02/25/im-halle-berry/#comments Mon, 25 Feb 2008 04:55:44 +0000 ironyisgay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/?p=218 ]]>

guess what i’m doing. i’m LIVE blogging about the oscars. that’s right, i’m not even waiting til its over to spew my nonsensical bullshit. i’m typing as it happens. and drinking in between. here we go.

i just saw the fat guys from superbad. they said something about black women.

juno just lost best actress. wow. this german woman is really excited.i think forrest whitaker is gonna bone her back stage.

do women have week hearts? what is diet coke trying to make me aware of? will their heart explode if you piss them off? wtf? and who the fuck would want heidi klum’s dress [other than lonely perves who want to use it for masturbatorial purposes]?

wii tennis on the oscars. swiit. (terrible)

once was a really good movie. and the music was also very good. but this musical performance is kind of creeping me out. the oscars is too big (in a bad way) for this song. they DO NOT need an orchestra. oh fucking well. i love that he still uses that guitar though. i thought it was just a prop for the movie, but it’s actually not. he’s been playing on the same acoustic guitar for so long that he has literally worn holes in it.

nicholson is great. he is the only person who is delivering his prewritten speech without sounding like he’s just reading some bullshit off of a teleprompter. even though he is. but that’s why he’s fucked more woman than God. he is the man.

now there showing every movie that won best picture for the past 80 years. it probably shouldn’t be surprising, but this a really good list. right up until they get to the mid 90s. braveheart, the english patient, titanic, shakespeare in love, gladiator, and chicago. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS WRONG WITH US? how could the past ten years of movies suck so badly that those flaming pieces of shit all won best picture?

i really liked the bourne ultimatum, but how the fuck is it winning so many oscars? i turned this shit on in the middle of the show and bourne has already won about 37 oscars.

“film editing. someone just took the lead in their office oscar pool based on a guess.” how can you not love jon stewart?

nicole kidman is wearing 3 billion dollars worth of diamonds. remember last year when it was almost uncool to wear diamonds because of the movie Blood Diamond? thank God that trend is over. |get back to work, you lazy african diamond mining slaves. nicole kidman still needs 53 more stones for her oscar necklace.|

holy crap. that guy is fuckingold. robert boyle, i believe. i think they just gave him an oscar for living to be 124 years old. oh man. i was just about to say that at least he is still mentally sharp, but then the old man brain took over. now he’s rambling on like any steriotypical old ass guy who wants to tell you stories about the 30s and about how much milk used to cost. holy shit. i just spilled beer on my new couch and i had to run to the kitchen to get shit to clean it up, and after i was done cleaning up the mess i realized that the old guy is STILL talking. someone needs to grow some balls and start playing the “wrap it up” music.

i find it strange that all these movie stars [and professional assholes] who normally present themselves as overly confident pricks, are obviously so nervous. it just goes to show, something. maybe i’ll finish this thought later.

Billy Wilder was austrian. i did not know that.

these musical performances are fucking awful. if i hadn’t just spilled another beer, i would’ve been fast forwarding through that shit. but unfortunately, my crouch was wet. so i was preoccupied.

if once doesn’t win best song, i will fucking kill myself. just wait. here it comes. give it to me travolta. YES. that is fucking awesome.

“that guy is so arrogant.” i heart jon stewart. this will not be funny later. but i nearly pissed myself when it happened.

wow. i love those once guys.

remember when cameron diaz was hot? i don’t. “For There Will Be Blood” just won an oscar. i hate cameron diaz.

holy shit. i didn’t know jack valenti died. why the fuck didn’t people cheer louder. that ass hole is finally in hell where he belongs. thank fuck. and of course, the grand finale of dead people, heathe [i heart pills] ledger.

jon stewart is probably the best oscars host EVAR. that’s right, i said EVAR.

oh man. they’re having an award presented by military personnel stationed in iraq. that just goes to show, hollywood is run by liberal pussies. and tom hanks. liberal pussies. and tom hanks. i bet their about to give an oscar to Michael Moore. holy crap. i guess i need to rent Taxi to the Dark Side.

i just remembered i saw the trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie. and it gave me a giant boner.

Diablo Cody just won the oscar for best screen play. what a fucking cry baby. she also wins the award for worst dress ever. i hate to rag on anyone for not fitting in at the biggest conformist celebration in the world, but god damn it, leopard print? really? fucking, come on.

here comes a big one. lead actor. get ready to shed a tear. holy shit. that old bitch has more diamonds than nicole kidman. fuck those africans. why are they even bothering with this? just give it to Daniel Day Lewis, and let’s go home. there you go. ddl is the shit. haha. he just accepted the award in the name of his grandfather, father, and 3 sons, but not in the name of his daughters. just goes to show what a daughter is worth. (i may have just made that up.)

i wish they would’ve given jon stewart more to do in the past 30 minutes of the show.

joel and ethan coen just won best director. that’s cool. i don’t even remember who i was pulling for 30 seconds ago. but i’m not disappointed now.

denzel looks like he has somewhere better to be and he can’t wait to get out of here. …….. woah. i am really shocked now. no country for old men just won best picture. wow. this is “oscar magic.”

and that was the oscars. i guess i missed owen wilson showing everone what a failure he is by not being able to kill himself. oh well. oh shit. what did javier bardem win? he is the shit. god damn it. i wish i would have turned this shit on earlier. why the fuck are they playing the mission impossible song? god damn it. i fucking hate the oscars.

]]> http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/02/25/im-halle-berry/feed/ 4 ironyisgay get back to work, you lazy fucks http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/get-back-to-work-you-lazy-fucks/ http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/get-back-to-work-you-lazy-fucks/#comments Wed, 20 Feb 2008 05:39:27 +0000 ironyisgay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/?p=216 ]]>

busy

the writers’ strike is over. no more american gladiators [come april]. and to that i say, boooo. have you been watching Conan this week? fucking hell man. i love that guy, but shit on a fucking stick, the best thing that ever happened to him was losing his writers. this is a perfect example of what is wrong in every form of art. (yeah, that’s right. i’m about to go there.) when Conan lost his writers, he was like a small animal, cornered and defenseless. and then, just like any comedian/talk show host [or artist for that matter] with real talent, he fucking exploded. without the crutch of his writers, he was forced to rely on his natural ability to entertain. and the result was something that we haven’t seen from him since he lost his comedic soul mate, Andy Richter. the writer’s strike provoked the kind of creativity that can only come from desperation. just like any art form, the best work is the result of some kind of conflict or challenging event. some people say that the best art comes from pain, but really, the pain is just the byproduct of the challenge. when life is truly difficult, you are pushed to your max [or you crumble from the anxiety like certain people (me)]. it’s the trying times that produce the best product because not only is the artist [or talk show host [or blogger for that matter]] delivering everything that he or she has to offer, but he/she/it is doing so in a way that is relatable to everyone. and i do mean everyfuckingone. whether you’re paris hilton or joe shmoe bum on the street, your life is filled with conflict. whether or not you/he/she/it chooses to overcome, or attempt to overcome that conflict will differ from person to person, but the universal desire is to try. struggle is so much more attractive than success because struggle is real and success is a pipe dream. there is no real success in the human condition, and the only alternative to struggle is to quit, or die (depending on the circumstances). artists who are willing to risk and struggle, and can do so while connecting with an audience, are the ones who create the greatest works. and that is why Conan was so great for the past five weeks. in the desperation of the situation, he lowered his self imposed standards and thereby allowed himself to be more creative and rely on his talent much more than he was comfortable doing in the recent past. he is a great comedian, and the writers’ strike allowed his talents to shine. i can only hope that the return of the writers does not mean the death of the new Conan.

my advice to all aspiring artists: quit your job, move out of your parents basement to a city where you don’t know anyone, get a shitty job cleaning toilets making minimum wage, eat ramen noodles for every meal, and immerse yourself in your art every waking second that you have. (although, i make $90k a year and drive a beamer, so wtf do i know?)

]]> http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/get-back-to-work-you-lazy-fucks/feed/ 0 ironyisgay busy why didn’t i think of that? http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/why-didnt-i-think-of-that/ http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/why-didnt-i-think-of-that/#comments Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:33:48 +0000 ironyisgay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/?p=215 ]]>

lego my wiener

some “experts” predict that we will be having sex with robots sooner than you might expect.  i’m still trying to figure out when it starts being a robot and stops being an anal vibrator.  does it just have to look and feel real?  does it have to be powered by batteries or other source of electricity?  does it have to grunt and moan as if its world was being rocked by your sub par performance?  if you play a recording of sex sounds and stick a vibrating mechanism in a real doll, are you fucking a robot?  [if i have to tell you nsfw, then you deserve to be fired, and possibly raped... by your boss...  your disgusting, unholy, pig of a boss.]  remember when the robots in *batteries not included had sex?  that was pretty cool.

]]> http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/why-didnt-i-think-of-that/feed/ 0 ironyisgay lego my wiener rambo has restored my faith in humanity http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/01/31/rambo-has-restored-my-faith-in-humanity/ http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/01/31/rambo-has-restored-my-faith-in-humanity/#comments Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:35:00 +0000 ironyisgay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/?p=210 ]]>
so cute

a while back i said that Rambo 4 was going to be the most violent movie in the history of movies. i could not have been more excited. i seriously had a violence boner for the whole month of january. and now that i have seen it, i know you are crapping in your computer chair waiting for me to tell you what i thought. (either that, or you are just scanning this page for NAKED PICTURES OF LAURA PREPON.) well here you go… Rambo 4/First Blood: Part IV/To Hell and Back/Holy War/The Cobra’s Pearl Necklace/John Rambo took every one of my expectations, and raped them with a machete. this movie was more of everything i thought than i could have ever expected. i’m talking severed limbs, atom bombs, child molestation, spilled intestines, and a baby being ripped out of his mother’s arms and thrown in a fire [just for the fuck of it]. the dialogue was even amazing. have you ever heard a line better than, “when you’re pushed, killin’s as easy as breathin”? oh, and remember the scene from the trailer where Rambo rips the guy’s throat out with his bare hand? i have never heard a theater cheer so loud in my life. in fact, the whole crowd (95% wieners) was going ape shit with cheers/laughter for the whole movie. it was truly the anti-Juno, and i fucking loved it.

before the movie they showed a couple previews that were almost as entertaining as the movie itself. the first was a pretty crappy trailer about a guy who accidentally takes a picture of a serial killer murdering someone on the subway and then tries catching him. it all looked very “dramatic” and “intense” and “fucking terrible.” the trailer dragged on for about 3 hours until finally, the pay off. the title of the movie was MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN. not joking. seriously called that. seriously. see for yourself.

the second preview got me almost as excited as Rambo 4’s trailer. (but not quite.) it was for a movie called Doomsday which is every futuristic apocalyptic sci-fi action movie you’ve ever seen. but instead of mel [i eat jew babies for strength] gibson, they have this girl. i’m not sure if this movie will really be the shit, or if i was just really jacked up on the Rambo juice. i guess we’ll find out in march. in the meantime, watch the trailer.

]]> http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/01/31/rambo-has-restored-my-faith-in-humanity/feed/ 0 ironyisgay so cute i saw cloverfield http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/01/22/i-saw-cloverfield/ http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/01/22/i-saw-cloverfield/#comments Tue, 22 Jan 2008 04:15:14 +0000 ironyisgay http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/01/22/i-saw-cloverfield/ ]]>
jj

… and i can’t wash it off.

i realize that this may sound strange for someone who has a blog about movies and stuff, but i just found out about how awesome netflix is.  it is really quite fucking awesome.  as much as i miss going to a cool video store to rent movies, u can’t beat the experience of renting movies while sitting naked, spread eagle on your couch [or your roommate's couch], while playing with your balls.  i came pretty close to that experience once at a blockbuster.  needless to say, it ended badly.  so anyway, i just posted my entire fucking queue, and after reading through it again, i realized that that is the most personal thing i have ever posted here, on this bloggish thing you’re reading.  i mean, i feel like i really just exposed myself to you, and i’m feeling exceptionally vulnerable.  it’s like, what are you going to point and laugh at first?  my red pubes, my small penis, or my left testicle which hangs much lower than the right [and is also significantly larger].  anyway, i like netflix.

i watched Jackass Number Two for the first time this weekend.  i remembered jackass being kind of funny when i was in highskool, or college, but i never really got into it.  but holy titty fuck was JNT funny.  i don’t know if it’s because i’m getting less and less mature as i get older and older, or if it’s because my tastes are becoming more and more refined and jackass is intellectually stimulating on a level i am only now able to appreciate.  either way, that movie was fucking funny.  not only did it make me laugh, but it also made me come closer to throwing up than any other movie, EVER.

]]> http://ironyisgay.wordpress.com/2008/01/22/i-saw-cloverfield/feed/ <