life, explained

first, i have to get this out of the way. i heart tegan and sara. i just downloaded their new album, the con, and i’m fucking hooked. i’m barely equipped to communicate with other people, much less describe my thoughts about music, but i’ll try anyway because what else do you have to do right now? this album is the kind that tugs at my emotions while making me constantly want to turn it up until my ears bleed. nineteen is easily my favorite track. their show in november is already fucking sold out. motherfuck me. so anyway…

i saw two movies tonight. the first was Eastern Promises, David Cronenberg’s new film. it was really pretty good. it was even more violent than big dave’s last film, A History of Violence, and that had “violence” right in the title for fuck’s sake. the bathhouse scene was especially shocking. imagine aragorn… naked… in a knife fight. the old woman sitting next to me summed it up perfectly when she yelled, “JIMINY CHRISTMAS.” the only down side was the baby. i am so sick of fucking babies (not literally). and yes, i will continue to milk that joke until i have (literally) milked it dry.

the other movie i saw tonight was Across the Universe, a musical made up entirely of Beatles’ songs. it was good, but i am sure that most people with more artistic sensibilities will be turned off by Julie Taymor’s attempts at being “artistic.” (after rereading that last sentence, i feel like an asshole. but i’m leaving it. cause it’s 3am, and i’m too tired to think of something better to say.) before it’s release, taymor and producer, joe roth, had a major disagreement which led to roth recutting the film and conducting screenings without taymor’s knowledge, which led to taymor threatening to take her name off the film, and also delayed the release by an entire year. i’m not sure whose cut i saw tonight, but when the credits rolled, it clearly said “a julie taymor film”, so take that for what it’s worth. although the film had it’s weak points, it had a certain affect on me. it reminded me of something that i had forgotten about myself, and about people in general. that was way too personal of a statement for ANYONE to really understand. but again, i’m too tired to even delete.

and speaking of The Beatles, it was recently announced that Martin Scorsese will direct a documentary about my favorite Beatle, George Harrison. (i just wrote so much shit about The Beatles that i needed a bump. RIDE IT, BITCHES.)

as far as “i” am concerned, there are four types of people in the world: john fans, paul fans, George fans, and ringo fans. john fans fit into two categories; people who appreciate his political pursuits, and people who don’t know shit about shit and are just jumping on the lennon bandwagon. paul fans are generally a little more interesting, although they tend to either not know that mccartney was not as talented as john, or they’re just really big Wings fans, like my mom. (i love my mom, so you can shut the fuck up about wings.) George fans, as with john and paul fans, fit into one of two categories. either they are pretentious hipster pricks, who only care about appearing to not like popular things, or they are like me, and realize that George was the coolest. (i will give you no further explanation so GFYS.) and then there’s the ringo fans. poor, poor ringo fans. i hate to act like i’m superior to anyone, but in this case, i’ll make an exception. ringo fans are the people that not only lined up for the openings of every star wars/lord of the rings/harry potter movie, but also dressed up for them. these are the rejects of society. the sad, overweight, computer techs that love hanging up dilbert cartoons in their cubicals. these are the guys that never get laid, unless it is with their real dolls. truly, the most out of place individuals in any and every situation. and thus, they choose ringo. don’t get me wrong. i get very annoyed when people say that anyone could’ve done what ringo did, and that he did nothing more than showed up in the right place at the right time. i really do believe that ringo had a significant impact on The Beatles, and that it would not have been the same band without him. however, to choose ringo over the other three members of the band clearly indicates that you have been rejected by your family, friends, coworkers, classmates, girlfriends (if ur lucky), and every other person you’ve ever come in contact with. although ringo is far cooler than anyone reading this shit that i’m writing, he will always be the fourth Beatle, and therefore the favorite of every bottom of the barrel person in society.